The top-ten reasons that the Ottawa Senators will choke in the Stanley
Cup Finals:

10. They can't understand what their coach is saying during his
time-outs.

9. Spezza sprains his shoulder by throwing up his arms for yet another
"premature celebration" of non-goals.

8. Muckler may not live to the end if it goes seven games. (how old is
that guy?)

7. Alfredsson is caught in the Ducks dressing room trying on Selane's
skates.

6. Constable Donut gets a sore throat and can't sing the national
anthem.

5. Baby Food (Gerber) is out of practise when called on to play after
Emery sprains neck from overweight "bling."

4. After first shift against Pronger and Neidermayer Ottawa fans start
cheering "Chara, Chara, Chara, Chara..."

3. The nation's capital really can't handle a second party beyond
Canada Day.

2. City riot occurs when Don Cherry confesses to cheering for the Ducks
and Stephen Harper attends Blue Jays v.s. Yankees instead of Game 4.
"...I heard it was Vernon Wells bobble-head night!", says the PM.

l. Heatley is driving the team bus to the Airport.